Fat Fingers

I attended a service at a Christian non-sectarian church and was very impressed with the whole set-up - perfect synchronisation between preacher and visual aids, clean music lines for each musician, good sound balance, air-conditioning, smartly dressed ushers and ministers, good use of wit and humour to keep the people satisfied.

.

The pastor made a very important point during his sermon. He was talking about bread. For one whole hour, he expounded on the merits of bread. He linked it and compared it and likened it to Christ and his sufferings. And then the message came. It was so obvious that it seemed like I had attended the whole session for a single purpose; to hear him say this: "My dream has come true. We have full-time musicians. They spend their working hours practicing and writing songs."

.

It was patently obvious to me that their full-time musicians were a success. The band was well-equipped, they were well trained, they sounded good together, and the music was of the highest quality. They sounded like a good pop or rock band. As I always say: you get what you pay for.

.

On the other hand, the church (collectively) I attend has a long way to go. Our leaders should attend at some of these other churches and see just how the people’s money should be spent - on things that really overwhelm the senses. Right now, we’re underwhelmed.

.

I was walking around Thieves Market today and noticed a few rather interesting bicycles. A pale green Kuwahara lugged steel bicycle parked against a fence; a 1995 GT Avalanche with assorted Shimano parts, including a M900 XTR rear derailleur; a Parkpre steel bicycle (that’s quite rare here); and finally, a Cilo Mixte in candy pink! Oh goodness gracious me. The Cilo really took the cake. This beauty is a made-in-Switzerland gem-of-a-bicycle. I wonder who owns it.

.

I picked up some odd spare parts - a Dura Ace AX crankset and a 600 AX crank and pedals. These have proprietary pedal threads and spindle diameters, so they are unique. In this day and age, they are not just unique - they are useless! But hell, these were the top-of-the-line parts in the eighties, so it might be good to have them lying around, just in case.

.

Picked up some toys for her kids too - a duck fishing set, an art box filled with stores and a soft toy tortoise with a baby tortoise trailing behind, all for just ten dollars. Cheap enough I’d say. At least those toys would make some kids happy, unlike selfish-old-me who’d rather buy a menacing piece of cold-forged aluminium that looks like a pizza cutter and could well serve as a weapon in a bank hold-up.

.

Hands up! I say HANDS UP! Get on the floor, the whole lot of you. Stop looking at me. Shut up, I say. This is a lethal weapon and I won’t hesistate to use it on you. Slice the innards out of you if you move an inch. This is the old Dura Ace crank with fifty three teeth, razor sharp all of them. Powering the Tour-de-France peloton for decades…Now stop staring at me and get that cash into those sacks.

"To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some." 1 Corinthians 9:22